Ghosts on the other side, in which I most often find comfort, have been less than comfortable with me lately.
I know. Coming from a medium that is almost a sacrilege but it’s true. All kinds of ghostly friends have been letting this human deal with a loss without too much interference. Yeah, they truly do have the patience of Job.
Many times I’ve mentioned that I have problems with the human side of me because I forget that I am physical until I look in a mirror or have something happen that snaps me out of my metaphysical loftiness. And that doesn’t mean that I feel as if I’m better than others. It only means that I see things in a different manner as I’ve been told again and again by my closest friends.
Because of my purely human anger over my, dog, Madeline’s death, human and ghostly friends have tried to comfort me by telling me what type person I am. Several friends have reminded me that I try to help and to see the good in everyone. They even tell me that I’m non-judgmental with others. One friend even told me that she’d never met anyone who truly tried to put themselves in other people’s shoes to see their life’s motivation. She said that I certainly have a gift because I don’t just preach it, I walk it.
The reason I’m letting you know what my friends say about me is because I’ve really been arguing with the other side even more than our usual philosophical discussions. They probably don’t think I’m non-judgmental although someone from the other side just informed me, while writing this, that they do.
I appreciate that they’ve given me the space to think because I directed my anger towards them when Madeline died when they really weren’t at fault. My protest to my ghostly associates that they didn’t help me keep her alive went to people who tried their hardest to wrap me in kindness until I’d once again listen to them.
I’m truly grateful to them for assisting me in my spiritual endeavors here on earth. But…. immediately following Madeline’s death, I turned hurt and hostile on my ghostly guides, just as any human might, for not keeping her alive. Forget the obvious that none of us live forever or that they could keep her from dying. Please don’t get me wrong I know we all will die one day but probably would have loved those shoulder hugs from this little animal in this form forever if possible.
When she died I immediately told (sweeter word for my hurt) them that they’d not helped although you rarely see a temper tantrum from me. As patient as they are, they waited a couple of days when the crying was less constant and when I sat down for a moment after running from the hurt. That’s when a few of them chose to speak in unison and reminded me what I’d requested.
My request was simply that they not let her die in the horrible manner in which she was heading, that she not smother to death with her heart or go through the agony of kidney disease. Though they stayed close they gave me my space. And they reminded me that they’d made sure she died in a more humane manner. Of course she had something to do with that decision as well.
Anger has dissipated with my logic and knowledge but hurt hasn’t and I know it’ll be a long, long time before it does. When the hurt becomes overwhelming I go to a special drawer, pull out the teddy bear she loved so much (the one she’d sat cleaning and loving for hours a couple of nights before she died) and hug it to me remembering my precious little angel.
Thanks for letting me memorialize.
P. S. To learn about ghostly behavior, please read www.ghoststalk.com.