by dajuana 4 Comments

As with most people, I’ve had a friendship that took advantage and hurt me pretty badly.  That, as with all life, is part of our spiritual growth.  Even though I look at it in that light, it still leaves me feeling uneasy.  Any time you have a loved one, friend or otherwise, that uses you for their own means and then lies about it to hide their guilt, even I, a good psychic, has to feel awful at being done that way.  You want to give friends more than the benefit of a doubt but sometimes you just can’t.More...

My two friends are husband and wife.  You probably know what happened.  When you’re my friend and we’re talking, the psychic comes out.  With me, I’m psychic twenty-four-seven.  One day while talking with him, I saw another woman and mentioned it to him.  Because I didn’t want to believe he would do that to her and because the other woman looked a lot like her, I gave him the benefit of a doubt.  That is until he wanted me to side with him and his wife called and asked me point blank about our conversation.  I was in the middle with no way out and I can’t lie.  Guess I could but let’s say, I choose not to.  Anyway, after two cases of hives because I love these two so much, I said goodbye and tried not to look back.

That was about four years ago.  After Claude had the stroke, the wife came to see me and wanted to make up but she said, she wanted me to give her husband a reading too.  She didn’t even seem to care that I had a lot going through a lot with Claude at the time.  That hurt too because the four of us had always been close.  When she saw how I felt about her asking me to read for her husband, who, by the way, had called me all manner of names including a liar, she told me that she was sorry and wouldn’t ask that of me again.  To me though, the damage had been done.  I told her that she was the one who’d hurt me.  Her husband was lashing out because he thought I’d betrayed him even though he knew how close she and I were.

Just because they were gone from my life, because you know how much stress I’ve seen in the last four years because of Claude’s illness, didn’t mean I didn’t still think of them and love them.  But I didn’t need the stress of the two of them added to other; let’s call them, spiritual growth spurts.  So, I’ve stayed away.  At any rate her husband just added to that with an email.  He told me that he was sorry for his part and that I need to get over it.  No, I’m not kidding.  That’s the way he put it in so many words. 

What I haven’t told you is that we’re going through some more issues with Claude.  Seems the four of us tend to step in on each other at some extraordinary times.  I do miss them but I don’t need the added stress.  What do think I should do?

Da Juana 

Comments ( 4 )

  1. Replyfabalossue
    Da Juana, take care of you and your family first. Don't spend too much time on relationships that cause you grief. I'm sure your friends are good people, but not sure if they have YOUR best interst in mind during your time of need. Save your energy for those you love and can give that love back.
  2. ReplySharon
    Dajuana, I don't really know you feel drawn to give you some feedback. Speaking as someone who is involved in the similiar situation of ending a longtime friendship: In my experience, relationships based on need don't work. We all have needy children inside of us that want "best friends," It's an innocent and pure istinct, I think, but as adults, I think we need to break away from unhealthy situations and cultivate relationships with healthy people. It sounds like your friends have problems, individually & collectively, to work out. You won't be able to regain the feeling of the good times & relating that you're remembering. Also, if you really don't have the extra energy to spare, than you must put yourself first. As my smart mother used to say: If you don't take care of yourself, who will? (She was a saint in many ways, who physically & emotionally nursed many back to health). She told me something else. If people ask for you help (I'm not taking emergency here) and you say you cannot help, they will find another way to help themselves. I'm still working out these issues and have hurt, anger, confusion inside. I think healthy people draw healthy boundaries. With love -
  3. ReplySharon
    Sorry for the typos. To correct one of them: "I'm not talking emergency here" - not "taking emergency" :-)
  4. Replydeborahd
    Not sure if the first message went through as I had computer problems BUT what I wanted to say was: a while back I asked for your advice regarding a friend I’d been extremely close to for 20 years. She had taken advantage of our friendship a number of times, and more than ten years ago I finally severed the friendship. At the time I wrote you, I’d had many dreams regarding my old friend and I felt the dreams might foretell a crossing of our paths again. I wasn’t sure how I should handle that. You felt it WAS going to happen, and you said, “Smile, say hello if necessary, and keep on walking.” We sometimes have people in our lives who do not respect boundaries, and when we draw the line in the sand, they look askance. They ask US to change. Please take care of yourself and Claude; remember why you drew the line with these friends and keep walking. Deborah

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